From Medical Director Dr. Katie Humphries 

In her book, “The Addiction Inoculation,” author and educator Jessica Lahey provides a science-backed roadmap for raising resilient, "addiction-resistant" children. Writing from her dual perspective as a recovering alcoholic and a teacher, Lahey emphasizes that substance abuse is preventable, not inevitable. We were fortunate to have Lahey on campus to speak to our students and faculty earlier this year.  As an added bonus, Lahey held a parent webinar in which she provided tips and strategies for prevention of substance abuse [View recording here with passcode: v&bxN@P3; this link is also available on the Parent Portal > Key Resources > top right column].  

Here are the key takeaways for our School community

• Adopt an "Authoritative" Parenting Style: This style — combining high warmth with clear, firm behavioral expectations — is the most protective against substance use. It focuses on prioritizing a child’s learning and autonomy over blind obedience.
• Focus on Self-Efficacy: Helping kids feel competent and capable in their daily lives is a powerful "inoculant." When children feel they can master challenges without needing substances to cope or feel brave, their risk of addiction drops significantly.
• The Power of Family Rituals: Regular family dinners are cited as one of the most effective tools for prevention. These moments build the connection and open communication necessary for kids to feel safe sharing their struggles.  
• Start the Conversation Early: Prevention should begin as early as preschool. Use age-appropriate scripts to discuss healthy choices, such as why we don't swallow toothpaste or why some adults use "medicine" that kids shouldn't touch.
• Provide "Exit Scripts": Middle and high schoolers need practical ways to say "no" without losing social standing. Lahey suggests helping kids practice specific excuses — like needing to be up early for a game — so they are prepared when the moment arises.
• Model Healthy Behavior: Children observe our relationship with substances. Modeling transparency, avoiding "secretive" drinking, and showing healthy ways to manage stress are vital components of the "inoculation" process.

As a follow up to Lahey’s recent presentations to EHS students, faculty, and parents , I wanted to acknowledge that it is a unique challenge to foster "addiction inoculation" when your child lives at boarding school for nine months. However, Lahey emphasizes that connection, rather than constant physical presence, is the true protective factor that parents can gift their kids.

In “The Addiction Inoculation” Lahey explores how we can "vaccinate" our children against substance use disorder by building their resilience and self-efficacy. For parents in a boarding school environment, the strategy shifts from daily supervision to fostering a deep, long-distance emotional safety net.

The Power of Rituals (Beyond the Dinner Table)

While Lahey often cites family dinners, the core principle is predictable, low-stakes connection. For boarding school families, this might look like:

• The "Sunday Night Sync": A dedicated, non-negotiable time (this part is important. Put it on both calendars and protect the time allotted on both ends as you would protect a critical work meeting or they would for an exam!) for a 20-minute video call where the focus is not on grades or logistics, but on "highs and lows" of the week. Though your kids might need your guidance to generate conversation, let them do the talking and share with you whatever is on their minds. Try to ask only open-ended questions without “right” or “wrong” answers and show them that you are REALLY listening to them without making any judgments.  
• The Shared Media Club: Reading the same book or watching the same series as your child and text about it. This creates a "shared language" and a sense of belonging that transcends distance.

Focus: The High School Years

As students gain more independence, the goal shifts from "policing" to "partnership." Lahey suggests several high-school-specific strategies. I have adapted some of these to be as EHS-specific as possible:

• Prioritize Sleep and Stress Management: High schoolers often turn to substances (like nicotine or stimulants) to manage heavy workloads or anxiety. Validating their stress and helping them brainstorm healthy "pressure valves" — like exercise or mindfulness — is a key preventative measure. Encourage your student to use their protected study time wisely and to avoid extending work outside of that time as much as possible. Doing so will promote healthy sleep habits and allow them the “down time” they need to engage in healthy habits that offload their brains (like watching a tv series or movie, reading for pleasure, chatting with friends/roommates, or hanging out on dorm in the common spaces). Remind them, too, of weekly student yoga, sound healing, nighttime snack options, center privileges, and the availability (and confidentiality) of the Counseling Center.  
• Provide "The Social Out": Even at a distance, your child needs an excuse to leave a risky situation. Establish a "No Questions Asked" policy where they can text a specific code word if they are in trouble, or if they need a “rescue call” from you.  The need to step out of a risky situation to answer an “important call” from you will give them a reliable excuse to hit pause and to navigate the situation without the mental/social noise while minimizing social consequences. If they call you from campus feeling pressured, you can be the "bad guy" who insists they return to their dorm immediately. What student doesn’t love to blame everything on the “evil adults” in their lives? 
• Honest Conversations About Risk: High schoolers are developmentally ready for the science, even if they seem unwilling to hear it.  Discuss the "Reward Foundation" of the teenage brain — explain how it is more susceptible to dopamine hits from substances than an adult brain, making the "habit loop" much harder to break. Can’t handle the eye rolling? Ask THEM to think of an example that highlights this concept in their own lives, or one that they witness with their friends.  Again, let them think through it and talk, and be an active, non-judgmental listener.
• Focus on Autonomy, Not Control: The more a teenager feels in control of their own life and choices, the less likely they are to rebel through substance use. Encourage them to take ownership of their schedule and extracurriculars. It can be really hard not to step in when your child is struggling to advocate for them, but there are SO many good opportunities for kids to practice self-advocacy here at EHS. Let THEM connect with a teacher when they need help – resist the urge to do it for them (but ask them about it after the fact — this puts them in the driver’s seat while knowing you’re buckled up next to them as a passenger and ready to take the trip together!). And, like nearly everything else in their lives, the more they practice this skill (knowing you’re right there to support them) the better they will get at it. Being in the driver’s seat of your own life is empowering, liberating and satisfying (talk about a dopamine hit!)

As Lahey says, it isn't about being a perfect parent; it's about being a reliable one. By maintaining high expectations for their behavior while providing high emotional support, we help our students navigate their independence with confidence.

If you have questions, feel free to contact Dr. Humphries at  khumphries@episcopalhighschool.org or the EHS counselors at  EHS Counseling Center at ehscounseling@episcopalhighschool.org.